Saw Family Doc this afternoon for a quick catch-up before Christmas & the New Year’s.
Basically it was just a quick appointment to see how the anti-depressants were working for me — of which, they’re not. I mentioned that they weren’t doing anything other than give me a mild cough at night and had noticed no changes in sleep patterns, pain or pain-med useage.
So it’s on to stage II. He’s letting me play with the Elavil until I figure out what works. I have been prescribed 10mg tabs and I have instructions to increase the doseage by 10mg about every 3-4 weeks, as I deem fit up, to Kidney Doc’s recommended maximum of 50mg/night. Tonight, we start off on the new doseage of 20mg.
Other than that, it was a rather sad day, to some degree. I told him the results of the PAH diagnosis. This was preceded by a box of Bernard Callebaut chocolates each for him, Dr.Fish & two smaller bags of chocolates for the two nurses that I talk to.
1) It’s for Christmas and he’s an awesome Doc — he was quite thrilled with the chocolates, surprisingly so, and he admitted that since December started, he’s gained four pounds and he’ll probably gain at least another pound from the chocolates alone. I did tell him he could freeze them for later and his reply was, “HECK NO! I’m eating these all by myself tonight!” Have I mentioned he’s awesome? ^_^;
2) I jokingly said after we got into the nitty gritties of the last few weeks, “The chocolates are also to soften the blow of more bad news.” — I basically told him that we found what we weren’t expecting to find. For Hawt Doc’s Clinical Study, it was a positive result. Meaning, the RHC is a definitive method of diagnosing the disease early on, given I’ve been doing the standard tests for the last number of years and there’s been no sign of the disease. From our/my/The Hubbs’ point of view? It really is, morbidly put, yet another nail in the coffin.
The running joke of course is, with me taking the viagra for PAH, we have to keep an eye out that The Hubbs isn’t sneaking my meds on the side for his own use ^_^ Never gonna happen, but it’s a reccurring comment from a lot of people. This is why they re-marketed it as Revatio!
Weirdly enough, I’ve noticed that ever since getting the RHC done, I’m finding it somewhat difficult climbing stairs again and I have a tough time breathing without gasping for breath, trying to suck in as much O2 as I possibly can. Mom is kind enough to point this out to me everytime she calls me at home and I’m sprinting for a phone that I’ve dropped or misplaced. I hope it’s not the PAH talking, but at the same time, I do wonder if some days my brain is totally fucking with me. It was an invasive procedure and there were risks involved. There could very well have been some damage and stress done to my heart. I just have to wait things out, hope for the best and cross my fingers the “little blue pill” (that in reality is neither blue nor diamond shaped) does it’s thing.
Other than that, The Hubbs had me relay a message to Family Doc: “Tell him that your hubby is sad and wishes that his wife could feel better.” To which Family Doc asked, “Yea, it is sad. It’s very sad. Hey, can I join the sad club, too? I’m sad that it’s really sad… and I know you’re not religious, but if you were, there’s a saying that goes ‘God only gives us as much as we can handle.’ You apparently can withstand a lot. And as much as we joke around a lot when we see each other, you do cope remarkably well. A lot of people would have dug themselves into a hole and would never have come out.”
… Some days, man ….
…. Some days …