I did something tonight that never in my imagination would I ever have to do.
I’ve taken off my wedding ring.
I can no longer wear it because it’s far, far, too large for it to stay on even if I tried my darnedest to consume mass quantities of salt to puff me up like the Staypuft Marshmallow Man… Well.. Girl.
For the last month I’ve been having more and more problems keeping my ring stuck to my finger — it would come off while I’m wearing rubber gloves to do dishes, while I’m spreading out my blankets before bed at night, when I gesticulate (wildly) when I speak and the place where I’m most terrified of losing it? Down the toilet.
I’m incredibly sad and upset over this. The only other time I had to take off my ring for an extended period of tIme was when I had the lupus flare and my fingers blew up to the size of hotodgs. No joke, it terrified both The Hubbs and my parents. Even then, I gave my ring to The Hubbs to wear, if only temporarily, until the inflammation was brought down with mass quantities of steroids. I knew I was going to get it back and I knew I was going to be wearing it again.
For the past (almost) six years now, my wedding ring has proggressively moved from being worn on the ring finger of my left hand, to my right thumb and then most recently, for the last year or two, my right middle finger and now completely removed… All because I’ve lost a ridiculous amount of muscle tone, paired with a considerable decrease in my swelling due to inflammation. Not only that, but I can’t wear my engagement ring, for the exact same reasons.
The Hubbs and I did discuss buying me a new ring and having my engagement ring resized, but we decided that we would wait until our (hopefully) ten year anniversary…. This was of course before I took my ring off permanently this evening.
I don’t want a new ring for the sake of having a ring, but at the same time, it upsets me dearly that the only piece of jewellery I have worn since the day we got married is no longer a possibility… Just like far too many other instances in our lives these last six years.
I am absolutely heart broken.