Frustrated

The last few weeks have been so hard for some reason and I think it’s probably a sign that the weather’s changing to fall.

I’ve been fighting with my brain because there is so much stuff that I’ve been wanting to do and yet have absolutely no energy reserves left to come close to accomplishing any of it:

* Crabapples Mom gave me need to be turned into jelly
* Another box of 500ml jars need to be purchased
* Green tomatoes picked from this year’s garden need to be made into sauce and canned
* Candycane thrummed mittens that I started earlier in the year would be nice to have for when the snow comes back again
* Baby carrier needs to be made.. though I did give myself a Christmas deadline for this
* Baking for J&R so they can stash it in their freezer for when Spudlet arrives anywhere between now and Thanksgiving
* New craft that I want to try my hand at (punch needling) that could be super cute when used on other items.

I just want to DO stuff. I can’t even do stuff while I’m resting because it takes up too much energy. Writing also takes up too much energy.

Yesterday I felt awesome (relatively speaking) and I actually managed to make two freezer meals + dinner, as planned. The problem is that I may have overdone things and as a result, today I am feeling pretty horrible — I have a headache, I’m exhausted, and I may also be breaking a fever to boot with the amount of sweating I seem to be doing without actually DOING anything. I’m pretty sure the fever is unrelated, though it’s certainly not adding anything positive to the way I’m feeling and I could be wrong.

I really need to learn how to accept the fact that I CAN’T do stuff. Just lay low until I am feeling better and then moderate the activities I end up doing on good days without going overboard into frenzy-mode. It’s just so damn hard and my frustration is through the roof right now.

*sigh*

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