Pain… so much… ugh.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually described to anyone how my pain feels to me and what I desperately feel the need to do, to alleviate my pain.

I need a knife.

One of those evil looking ones you see in movies with serrated edges on both sides and a really pointy tip.

I need to stab it down to the bone and run it back and forth to make the pain stop -_-

This is how my normal pain makes me feel.

Or, in a way if I think about it in another way: I basically wanna de-bone myself and scrape the knife up and down against the bone so you get those little shreds of meat piling up on your chopping board.

It’s the feeling of the knife against the bone that I need.

As a side thought: I’ve started my new pain meds regimen that was recommended by the Chronic Pain Consult at the hospital before I was discharged.

It’s working.

Mostly.

I am taking more of the long-acting stuff (3x/day) at the same dose, but overall, the amount of drugs in my system, even with using breakthrough stuff, is less.

It’s good news. But fuck, I am hurting right now.

As a small update regarding my surgery: Everything went swimmingly. The incision has healed absolutely beautifully and you can hardly even tell that I was operated on the job they did was so amazing. I’m still a little owie here & there, but otherwise doing fine. The interesting thing about the whole surgery was that the cyst hanging out on my ovary that they tried to remove laprascopically was the size of a large grapefruit. Craziness.

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One thought on “Pain… so much… ugh.

  1. That is one helluva cyst! Holy crap batman!
    So glad you are recovering so well. Not happy you are hurting, but it sounds like you are doing well overall.
    lots of love to you!
    Caroline

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