At the risk of sounding like a drama llama…

I feel like something is wrong.

Very.

VERY wrong.

I may be getting sick or SALLY is brewing up a nasty storm.

Baby Bro left on Friday for his 3 week SE Asia trip (yay!) and for the last few weeks I’ve been feeling less than stellar. To be honest, I would say “well and truly awful” would be a good descriptor of my current state.

I am hoping and praying that nothing is really happening and it’s just my body dealing with the radical weather fluctuations we’re getting in Calgary this winter/spring. I’ve been taking way more pain medication than usual (read: three+ times a week) and something feels off totally off.

The Reynaud’s has been occurring on a more frequent basis, my joints hurt a ~lot~ and the pain is creeping into my rare nappings so that I can’t get any respite during those precious few minutes..

The reason why I mention all the above seemingly random and unrelated information together is that in the past, whenever someone goes away or it’s somewhere between Thanksgiving & New Year’s, SALLY gets ugly. I am absolutely, positively, terrified that something is going to go horribly wrong before I take off for Las Bacon to see The Boys.

[insert llama here]

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it, but sometimes I want to take a really, really big ugly knife (think double-edged, serrated combat knife) and stab the parts of my body that hurt because I think it would be far less painful than what’s going on. The good thing is that I don’t think I could do it. But there are nights where that’s the only thing my brain wants to think about when I’m trying to think of other things to distract myself from the pain.

Truth be told: I want to be hooked up to an IV so badly so I can be rendered unconscious to take away pain it’s not even funny. That, I know I could do.

I am so hoping my body behaves itself.

And as much as I hate saying this: I hope The Healer Dude(tm) better freakin’ do his thing and keep me healthy at least until after I get back from Las Bacon if Mom insists on paying him again to do whatever it is he’s doing when Baby Bro makes his annual “pilgramage” to Japan in two weeks time.

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Things I found out last night…

Mom’s been paying The Healer Dude ™ to pray for me even though I told her to stop it after the water episode finished.

Not cool. Not cool at all.

Dad was so mad and so was I.

In Mom’s defense, Favourite said that she wasn’t the only one that wanted to pay him to do it.

He’s also been a contributing factor to the cause.

¬_¬

Worst. Hangover. Ever.

I just want to crawl back into bed and die.

UGH.

Last night was absolutely horrible: 6mg slow-release + 8mg quick-release @.o

1 bottle of healer dude(tm) water + 1 bowl of corn with butter, seasoning salt, pepper, garlic powder & chili flakes + 1 cup of coffee & dulce de leche and I still feel bleh.

Side note on apple cheesecakie for next time: Don’t be so damn lazy! Make sure to pat out graham cracker crust more evenly so you don’t get big thick sections and rather thin bits in the middle. Try mixing apple mixture with filling mixture right before putting into pan and then top with more cheesecake filling to cover if needed — this might prevent soggy-sticky crust action and promote a nice balance of apple + filling as opposed to “apple pie that’s topped with cheesecake”… not that it’s a bad thing, then you have the traditional apple cream pie. The addition of dulce de leche on top was not as mind-numbingly sweet as I was anticipating, it was just nice. Even Dad tried it and rather enjoyed it… with coffee of course.

Ugh… and omg, the freaking dreams last night… Why were all you #Ranma! kiddies in my parents house hosting AX in their living room!? And might I add, the cosplay-action: most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen in my dreams. Srsly.

Sleep.. yea… going back to sleep or something.

Side thought II: Baby Bro got a package in the mail from T, in Japan. She sent 5 more bottles of Healer Dude(tm) water to see if it would clear customs. She also sent 3 adorably cute HK cell phone danglies from her hometown, just outside of Hokkaido. SO. CUTE. The Healer Dude(tm) claims that the water is apparently helping… I have no words.

Oh the woes …

‘Kay I dunno what happened.

But somehow me accepting to drink all the water from the Healer Dude(tm) somehow translated into, “Yes, I will do anything you wish.” to my mother.

I have an appointment with Rheumy this afternoon and I’m not looking terribly forward to it. As far as I know, we are going to be doubling my doseage of imuran as per last month’s discussions. So the next month may, once again, be hell on earth. Apparently there’s supposed to be some good in taking this stuff, but I don’t remember what it is or why given that it’s going to take me anywhere between 2-4 months to see any great results. I can say with absolute certainty that my pain sucks rocks after having started this stuff. With that in mind, I vaguely recall Rheumy mentioning that if my pain got worse, there would be some other tests we would have to do and investigate in more depth as to what’s going on.

Backtracking to the Healer Dude(tm) and Mom: So I called mom this afternoon, asking her if it would be okay to come over for supper tonight after my appointment. That prompted a rather off-putting conversation.

Total side thought — when mom was out of commission last week with her colonoscopy and I called Dad to see if it was okay for me to go back over for supper, his reaction was a rather pleasant surprise. He said that I was always allowed to come home for supper, I don’t need to ask. Given that he doesn’t much talk about “important stuff”, it was a nice thing for him to say.

Anyhow, Mom basically has said to me different and frustrating things over the last few days since they’ve come back from Japan. One of the broken record requests (demands?) is having to say a ‘prayer’ everytime I drink the water ¬_¬ As I said to her, that was not the agreement. I only agreed to drinking one bottle a day, as requested, and the Healer Dude(tm) could do whatever he was doing from where he was. I think the thing that gets me the most, in hindsight, is that if I had gone and taken it upon myself to search out some similar type of treatment on my own, my parents would not in any way shape or form be in agreement to my rather unorthodox desire for treatment. But because they and Baby Bro have had a hand (or say) in what’s going on, that makes it alright in their minds. Weird, but not.

Moving right along… Mom asked me for copies of my bloodwork results so she could send them to the Healer Dude(tm), in Japan, to take a look at them.

Yah.

No.

I don’t think so.

Apparently I am being stubborn and unreasonable. ^_^

Funny enough to note: Through this whole conversation this afternoon, I didn’t get immensely ragey. I got rather annoyed and vocal, but I didn’t get into a blinding rage. Yay for the missing prednisone madness!!

Anywho… I’m tired from staying up til 4am and I have to go nap-free today.

Damn… the weather’s changing… the sky is turning black… that does not sound like good news to me… maybe I can wear my pink kitty rubbers…!

*sighs & eyes up the dilaudid*

Day 2

Remind me again how I agreed to drink a bottle of this special water every day for a month?

There’s nothing wrong with it…. but man, yeah.

The guilt if I don’t… -_-

Why are my lungs all rice krispy crackly and wheezy when I’m sleeping now??

Oh yea…

Mom & Dad saw The Healer Dude(tm) with Baby Bro + his Ex-gf.

Yea… either Mom & Dad can’t remember what they talked to him about or they’re not telling me what they spoke about. All I got out of them was that he wants me to drink 1 bottle of this water that he blessed(?) a day for a month and then see how I feel. ¬_¬

Details, people! I need details!!

In reality, what does that mean? My parents + baby bro hauled back 30 bottles of water in their suitcases… what a waste of weight that could’ve been filled with far more fun stuff!